Friday, May 01, 2009

Domestic Engineer...a.k.a. mom!

I just did a shoot for a Tuck Business conference that lasted 8 hours. I loved taking pictures and learning, but I couldn't stop thinking about my girls. I missed them so much and felt like I should be with them. I was looking forward to this break away from them especially since Abby is getting her one-year molars. Just a side note...I don't know if any of you remember what Madison was like when she was getting these teeth. Melissa would...It was two weeks of total and utter disaster. I remember Madison screaming for a whole hour in her crib, throwing herself on the ground at the drop of a hat, and being a hellion...I almost went to the library to get books on discipline. I thought I was failing as a parent and my child was out of control!!!! Well, I had two years to forget and a day to remember as Abby has become the same way! I am just waiting for the day they break through...Madison went back to her happy self once that happened. It was night and day. Anyway, back to my story. I guess I just realized that I felt sorry for all these mothers there who were great career women who were missing out on their children. I prayed that I would never be forced to work in the work force and leave my children for someone else to raise. It helped me realize I love where I am at now and that I love what I am doing as a domestic engineer with photography on the side. I couldn't wait to see Abby and Madison and when I did I had this overwhelming feeling of completeness. I have been wishing lately to have more time to myself to knit, crochet, work out, and do photography, but after today I realized that I missed my children more and find true joy in them that is lasting and will go on for the eternities. Newspapers, big companies, and CEO's won't know me and I won't be recognized by raises, bonuses, lavish vacations, or rewards in the worldly sense of these things. But, I will in my 3 year olds eyes someday and even now. I wouldn't trade it for all the photography equipment I could dream of or time to knit without someone needing a glass of milk. I will ever be grateful to Heavenly Father for giving me these moments to re-evaluate what truly is important and will yield the most joy! Don't get me wrong. I did love being treated as a professional and recognized as a professional photographer, but...well...you get the picture:-)

3 comments:

Tamara said...

Sarah..we LOVED this post and your feelings about being a mom! We love you, and are grateful for all you are doing for those two beautiful girls and for Brian!!

Emily said...

I know what you mean! Even though I'm lucky to just work 2 nights a week so I can still be a mom to Cannon, I miss him whenever I'm gone, and I would be sad to miss out on anything in his life. He drives me crazy sometimes, and so going to work sometimes feels like a break from him, but as soon as I'm there I miss him like crazy and want to be home with him! Being a mom is hard, but it's also the Best!!

Angelina said...

I remember the teething! Weren't you house-sitting at the time? You are an awesome mom, er, D.E. ;-)